At 3 years old, I had the first conversation with my toddler where we discussed how some households have a Mom and Dad, or a Mom and Mom, or a Dad and Dad, or a Mom and no Dad, or a Dad and no Mom...
In all honesty, I'm not sure how I feel about it.
He's three.
We were watching a children's cartoon called T.O.T.S., and in the episode a baby was being delivered to their parents, and it was my son who looked up at my with a funny face and questioned: "Two Mommies?"
Now, let me say, I have no qualms with people who are gay.
I have no issues with anyone who comes out as LGBTQ+.
I wouldn't say I didn't once upon a time take a second glance when I saw two members of the same sex holding hands or kissing, or scrunch my forehead when I saw someone who I couldn't tell was a man or a woman.
Nowadays, it does not phase me.
I do consider myself lucky to know people who are gay. I consider myself likely because they helped me over the years broaden my mind on the subject. I can think of one person in particular who I follow, who I knew growing up, who I saw grow - even from afar, who I admire. I admire the fact they know who they are. I admire their confidence and their fire and that they are happy.
Should any of my children come to me and tell me they are gay, my only hope is that they are happy, and confident with who they are.
So, what's the problem?
I am his parent. It should be my discretion when and how to approach a subject like this...subjects like discrimination, and racism. Subjects that are so much more than just this or that. Subjects that a minds of certain adults can't wrap around. Subjects that, let's be honest, can be confusing.
There was an episode of Dr. Phil once upon a time which pitted those who favored teaching kindergarteners about being transgender against those who favored leaving it to the parents. While I certainly would categorize these specifics into its own category apart from what I'm discussing, I also felt drawn to the side of the later.
I want to be able to chose when my son is educated on these subjects and I do want him to be educated on this subject. I also want him to learn the subject while learning to be accepting and non-judgmental. That's why I want to teach him. I don't want him to be confused. I don't want him to be pulled in different directions because there are people who cannot accept that there are people of a different sex, race, religion. I want him to know that people come in all different shapes and sizes, colors and appearances, races and religions.
I want him to know that people all have their own opinions and thoughts, but that no matter how anyone else decides to live, it shouldn't matter to him. I want him to be kind.
How incredible will it be when one day we don't have to have these discussions?
I know by my being caught off-guard by this episode that I, myself, still have strides to make.
No harm was done, as there shouldn't have been, that there were two mother birds in the episode. My son continued watching the show like nothing changed after we explained why there were two mommies, and he hasn't brought it up since.
I hope the discussion, if we do in fact have a conversation one day, will be as easy as me saying "it's just who they are."
Because really... we should all be able to be whoever the f*** we want to be.
And be happy being it.
