I can tell you my age; my sign; my gender; or the color of my skin. I can list my favorite food, or drink; book, or movie. But I'm not going to do that. Not intentionally at least. I want to be something more than those things, so here goes...
I dont know who I am.
That's its; end of post. Thanks for reading.
In all honesty, it's true. I'm not even sure I buy into needing to know. So instead, these are things I know:
I love writing. I've been writing ever since I was little. It has always been a way for me to escape and cope with my feelings, which at the time I couldn't define as mental health. I would write with so much passion (usually anger or frustration), I'm not sure how the paper survived the sharp tip of a ball point pen. Then we learned to type...and I was always so proud (and pretty braggy) of my 80 WPM typing ability. But...my mind will always outrun how fast I can write.
I wrote a 'novel' when I was 14, then another one after that. No one has read either. A lifelong dream would be publishing a book. They have both been edited and re-edited and changed and altered and improved, but never seem complete. I hope to post some of that in the future. It also scares me shitless.
I love photography, but wouldn't say I'm a photographer. I've thought about pursuing photography - wedding photography and newborn photography, specifically, maybe some landscape or still photography. I've tried teaching myself; even bought a book or two. I cant get the information to stick so I wing it when the camera is in my hand. Regardless how photos turn out, I still love taking them. Anything can be photo worthy.
I suffer from mental health - primarily depression and anxiety. These days, things aren't so bad, but things have been...bad. Recently too boot. But I have this 2 year old ray of sunshine that greets me everyday with a "MOOOOOMMM!" I do take medication and I've accepted that this is a part of "who I am." I decided to get help on how I can cope with my mental health and living with it vs deciding to fight it. I learned a lot and hope I can help other people work through their challenges with mental health.
I'm a Mom. I became a mom later in life, 25. It's so far the best job I've ever had. I look at my boy and I'm filled with so much love. I'm constantly learning and growing, and it's easily the biggest part of who I am.
Otherwise, some would say I'm crafty. I love being outdoors - camping, fishing, boating, walking, biking, ATV'ing. I love my puzzle books and crosswords. Old fashioned pen and paper puzzle books are a must have in my home. I'm not a great cook but I keep swearing I'm going to try harder. I love fitness but struggle 90% finding the motivation. It's been a fine line for me between working out and obsessing, and I'm slowly finding comfort in my own self as is.
I hope to influence, inspire or help people that may be struggling. I hope to share funny, relatable stories that might not be shared otherwise.
And the top portion of my post keeps getting deleted as I type so I'm going to.wrap it up.
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